Ode to Alastair Darling

As election day approaches, the PM is on the rack
How to be a leader? Give the Chancellor the sack.
To counteract the Tory leader’s snap election calls,
Gordon’s only plan is, to be frank, a load of Balls.

Ode to General Motors

GM is going bankrupt, which is bad news for the Yanks
After billions in bail-out funds it’s no way to say thanks
The economy’s in turmoil and the country’s on its knees
But what the hell does Britain care? It’s twenty-eight degrees!

Ode to Britain's Got Talent

At last the show is over, and the fat lady has sung

Alas it was not her but some dancing youths who won.

But for square-eyed talent fans the future isn't bleak

That arbiter of quality Big Brother's back this week. 

Ode to the FA Cup Final

The time of the footy season’s very nearly up
This afternoon’s finale concludes the FA Cup
It’s Everton v Chelsea, the blues against the blues
If only they could find a way for both the teams to lose.

Ode to Bill Cash

If you were looking for an MPs expenses splash
Could you ask for more apt a name than Bill Cash?
Old Bill has billed the public for his daughter’s flat
Headline: “Cash repays cash”. It’s as simple as that.